This happens 1 year after MGS2. It's my first fanfic, so rate a comment, please.


In the limits of Argenina, in the "Cordillera de los Andes", lot's of soldiers are guarding what seems to be the entrance to a Base. While a man is standing at a cliff, looking at it. The man has a Sneaking Suit, and a gas mask, leaving to chance to know who is he.

The man walks to the base, without being noticed, he then, grabs a knife and a gun, in CQC way (Like Big Boss). A guard, then, walks behind a rock. and is surprised by the mysterious soldier, and knocked out. The soldier keeps walking, and manages to enter the base.

Inside the base, the man removes his mask. His face is very similar to Big Boss', but one difference, his hair and beard are blonde. He, then, starts using his codec.

Golden Snake: This is Golden Snake, do you read me Sargent Frugoner?

Sargent: Loud and clear, Golden.

Golden Snake: Exelent. I've arived the enemy Base.

Sargent: Want me to explain you the mission again?

Golden Snake: Please, sir.

Sargent: OK. 3 days ago, the Terrorists contacted us. They said that if we didn't gave in to their demmands, they'll launch a nuke. They asked us to deliver them our A.M.G.

Golden Snake:You mean the New Anti-Metal Gear System? Guess they want to take on anyone on their way, Metal gear or not. So, what's my mission?

Sargent: Exactly. Your mission is to infiltrate the Enemy Base and destroy the Nuke.

Golden Snake: Is that all?

Sargent: No. You also have to take care of the Terrorist Leader, Coronel Volgin.

Golden Snake: VOLGIN?!

Sargent: The EX-GRU Coronel's Son. You will have a support team over the Radio. My frequency is 140.85. We have an infiltrated soldier. His frquency is 141.80.

Golden Snake: How can I save my progress.

Sargent: We've got an analyst for that. Her frequency is 140.96.

Golden Snake: Yessir.

CODDEC TRANSMISSION OVER

Golden Snake: It's time....

Golden Snake: To know the abilities of...

He grabs his gun and his knife.

Golden Snake: The True Son of Big Boss!


METAL GEAR GOLDEN

To be Continued...

I don't know if this is what you were going for... but for the moment, all of this seems awfully "cliché" and redundant. I also feel as though the pace is somewhat quick for a beginning, but that might just be me. You have plenty of time to turn this into quite an interesting story... I'll wait and see how everything develops, whether it be into a comedy or something serious.

BTW, eh... Sergent Frugoner?!? :lol:

Before anyone else says anyting else, Matisman, I'd just like to ask two questions.

1) How old are you?

2) How often do you read good books?

I'll second that with a note here:

Look, I think you trying to work on writers section is a good thing, but you need to really work on length, story, and general dialect. Because absolutely nothing I just read made any sense. :unsure:

Just work harder bud. Story writing more. :thumb:

1) I'm 15.

2) I read books every day.

I'm going get straight to the point. You really need to focus on sentence structure, grammar, length, story and just knowing what words are going to work and those words that won't. I'm 13, and I've noticed some very basic mistakes in there I definitely wouldn't expect of someone who is two years my senior and reads books everyday. It's a very basic storyline. Snake infiltrates an enemy base, destroys nuke, end of mission. There's not really anywhere you can go with that where nobody else has gone before. It's not an original idea. I think you should try to brainstorm a few ideas, and when you have written a chapter, edit it before you post it. ;)