Hello this is going to be my first Fan fiction on this forum. It will be featured 3 years after Snake Eater, 3 years before Portable Ops(i know it doesnt fit) Its called Serpents Skin. (i wont write it as a script)A lot of the locations are made up.

Metal Gear Solid: Serpents Skin

RUSSIA OUTSKIRTS ZONE 167-888

A man with a red cap walks across a hallway, while talking on the phone. 'What!? I cant do this' he screams. 'Thats impossible' he says while kicking on a box. 'Whats your plan' he sits down 'Yes?' The man's face changes from calm to surprised. 'Big Boss!?' The man takes off his red cap. 'Yugoslavia? This is crazy!' He screams on the phone. 'China's involved? That bitch? Listen i done alot of stu...' He is being interrupted from something that he saw. 'Hold on a second' He then looks at someone wearing a Balaclava, holding a AK-47, KLMK camo outfit and a pair of WP/Grenades. You could see it was a GRU soldier. 'What do you want' The man asks. 'Euhhm... Sorry sir but we are jamming some signal here nearby' 'Signal? What signal?' The man grins. 'Well.. Its a some kind of plane' The man looked angry. He grabbed the soldier at his shoulders and started to shake him. 'I said stop every plain! Shoot it down!' 'WwWEelLl hEEE gAve a...' The soldier tried to give a answer, but he was shaking too much. 'A What?!' The man let go off the soldier. 'A codename...'The soldier tried to gasp some air. 'What codename!?' The man screamed. 'He said he was Ocelot' The man looked shocked. The man suddenly took the phone again with a swifty swipe. 'Youre Here!?'

ALASKA 'KRIKORIA' ZONE 986-011

A tired looking Big Boss was sitting on his leather made couch. With a Cigar in his mouth he was silently looking at his Radio. He then heard it ringing. It kept on ringing, he was just looking at it. Big Boss just let it ring. It suddenly stopped ringing. Big Boss took another blow of his Cigar. It Started ringing again. Big Boss took the Cigar out of his mouth, and put it on the table. He took the Radio and answered it. 'Zero?' Big Boss said. He heard no reaction. 'Yes Snake is that you?' Big Boss smirked. 'Its Big Boss remember?' 'I'd rather call you Snake' Big Boss took another blow from his cigar. 'What do you want from me?' Big Boss said while coughing. 'Snake, are you alright?' 'Never been better' Big Boss looked at the TV, while taking another blow from his cigar. ' I have a assignment' Big Boss threw the cigar away and put out the TV. 'Cant wait to hear it' On the tone of his voice you could hear he was being sarcastic. 'Snake, dont play jokes with me alright? I'm not in the mood' 'Sorry, boss' Big Boss answered while laughing. 'Its in Yugoslavia' Big Boss looked surprised 'Europe!?'

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This is part 1 for now. I Edited some stuff.

Not bad, but you need to work on a number of things:

1. Grammer, youre isn't a word, you're is the better way of putting it, plus general grammer mistakes.
2. A bit short, try and work on length for your next post bud.

WwWelgeha gave? I don't know what that was about, but just try saying either, w-w-w-w-we gave them, or just say that he was shaking. :thumb:

Apart from that, decent, but keep at improving bud.

Thanks for the tips :) I will write my next one probably tommorow, maybe later. I will try to use your tips. I will also make it longer.

Pretty good. U should state that it's 1967 during the beginning, not just say it's "3 years after S.E" Also (for me) u should say wut kind of soldier is being shaked, GRU? If he is GRU, he's wearing KLMK camo. But it's good. Another, Snake hasn't fully appreciated being called "Big Boss" yet. And one more, the Codec wasn't created until 2005 during the Shadow Moses Incident. So u should call it a radio, not Codec :thumb:

*Edit* Srry about all the stuff I said. The story is good, those r just a few things I picked up that weren't correct.

Here is part 2

Metal Gear Solid: Serpents Skin Chapter 2



2 Months Later....

YUGOSLAVIA NISH ZONE 700-914

Big Boss was riding a bike somewhere. It was in a small village of some sorts. Big Boss was dressed as a normal civilian. He suddenly stopped his bike. He was looking around, he stopped at a small building saying 'Ivan's Kavic' Before Big Boss started the mission he had to make sure he learned Yugoslavian. He knew it meant Ivans's Cafe, as Ivan is a name. He took of his helmet, and got off from the bike. He then made sure to look around if someone was watching. He then contacted someone on his Radio. 'Hello, Zero?' Big Boss grumbled. 'What is it Snake?' 'You know, I've been thinking...' Big Boss said silently. 'Thinking about what?' 'I dont really like the name Big Boss...' 'Like? Whats not to like? I'm calling you Snake anyhow.' Zero said while lowering his voice. 'Snake?' 'What is it?' 'Where the hell are you?' 'Dont worry, I'm where I'm supposed to be.' Snake said while looking behind him. 'Very well then. I will contact you later on.' Zero said while closing contact. Snake looked around him, as he proceeded to enter Ivan's Cafe.

YUGOSLAVIA BELGRADO ZONE 543-826

A man with a red cap walked in trough a door, in some well lit room. 'What are you doing here?' A man from the other side of the room said, with a Russian accent. 'I'm here for..' The man with the red cap stopped talking. 'For who?' The man with the Russian accent yelled. He was walking strangely to the man with the red cap. 'For Snake!' the man with the red cap yelled. The man speaking with the Russian accent stopped walking. His face was shocked. He was wearing some kind of grey suit. 'Snake's here?' the man grumbled. The man with the red cap came closer and closer. 'Yes he is'

YUGSOLAVIA NISH ZONE 700-914

Snake entered the cafe. He looked around him, he saw three guys sitting together at the bar. He went to the bar to take a chair. He sat down next to a guy who had almost no teeth, and the teeth he had were all yellow. 'Sta be ti radis?' the guy next to Snake said. 'Nista tebi radim.' Snake answered while laughing at the guy. 'Er be ti oces neka problema?' The guy with no teeth pushed his chair away, and with a mighty swipe he broke his beer bottle on the bar-table. 'Ja nebi to uradio, ako bi ja bio tebe' Snake said while sitting on his chair, not even looking at the guy. The two others who were in the bar just kept drinking they're beer. The man with no teeth swung his arm at Snake. Snake stopped his arm, and threw it on the bar table. Snake then hit the guys arm on the elbow to break it. He then threw the guy on the ground. The guy with no teeth was crying of the pain he had. 'Sto ne trecis be ti?' Snake said while looking at the guy, who was on the floor. The guy with no teeth ran out of the bar, crying like a little baby. 'Er si ti neki od oni Amerikanci?' One of the guys who were sitting on the bar asked Snake. 'Ma sta te briga' Snake answered while looking at the two guys. Snake then proceeded to go into the back. 'De ti ides?' Both of the guys threw they're chair away and ran to stop Snake. They charged him both at once with they're right arms. Snake quickly grabbed one guys arm while ducking to avoid the punch. He threw the guy with his side against the bar table, and slapped him on his head. The other guy turned around and tried to kick Snake. Snake grabbed his foot and threw him back on the floor. Both of the guys who were on the bar were now both unconsious. Snake proceeded to get into the back. Snake saw a desk and some papers. He saw a paper with some Bombing on it. He proceeded to examine it. Snake turned on his Radio. 'Major Zero?' 'Yes, Snake?' 'I have found some papers with some kind of, future bombing or something.' Snake said while still examing the papers. 'Ok keep them. I will contact you later.' Zero shut down contact. Snake put the papers in his bag that he had with him. Snake heard some footsteps behind him, he turned fast to see what it was. The only thing he saw was a barrel of a gun, as it knocked him out...

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By the way its real Yugoslavian, i am Yugoslavian :) Well its Servian now.

Getting good. Can't wait for the others.

Metal Gear Solid: Serpents Skin Chapter 3

??? Somewhere in Yugoslavia...

Big Boss was all tied up sitting on a small woodenchair. The room where Big Boss is, is dark. The only light is shined upon Big Boss. Big Boss still hasn't regained consciousness, also he has some kind of dark bag on him. You could hear some kind of sound in the room. A walking sound. A Man all dressed up in dark clothes, came up to Big Boss. He took the dark bag from his head, and threw it on the ground. Big Boss was all naked, except his underwear. The man in black slapped Big Boss a few times untill he regained consicousness. Big Boss opened his eyes. 'Ahh... What is this?' Big Boss said while looking up to the man. He saw the mans face, it was all burned up. The man had bruises, burns and cuts on his face. It was truly a ugly site to see. 'Hello...' the man said in a chilly voice. Big Boss was bleeding from the hits he sustained. 'Naked Snake...' Big Boss looked up to the man. 'Where the hell aim I!? Who are you!?' Big Boss screamed while shaking his chair. The man pulled a knife out from his pocket. Big Boss looked at it. 'Ahh... Intersting... The new brand Survival Knife, made for cutting animals up. Where did you get it?' The man was wearing red gloves. 'What do you care?' The man swiped Snake so hard, that he fell together with the chair. 'Once I'm done with you... You are going to look just like me!!' The man said screaming while laughing. Big Boss was struggling to get up. Suddenly all the lights went on. The room wasn't dark anymore. The man looked surprised behind him, to see why the lights went on. Immediately Big Boss used all his power to stand up, and smacked the man holding the knife. The chair broke how weak it was, and the man fell, all stunned. Big Boss easily broke free out of the rope he was tied to. He went to see if the guy had some weapons he could use. He only found the knife. Big Boss was only wearing some underwear. He stripped the guy off from his clothes, and took them on. The mans body was all dirty, burned and filled with cuts. It was a gross sight to behold. Big Boss saw a black door saying exit, he went cautiously to open it. He pushed the door open while holding his knife towards the door. He saw a long well lit hallway. He ran across the hallway, until he saw a white wall. It was a dead end. He saw three shadows at the other side of the hallway coming towards him. You could only see shadows walking. He put the Knife up. 'STOP!' Big Boss screamed. The shadows went through Big Boss. Big Boss fell to his knees. 'What the...?' Big Boss sat there on his knees, shaking his head. He fell and lost conscious...

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I think i am going to focus myself in a other fan-fic... Does anyone wanna continue reading this story or not? Say honestly please :unsure:

Pretty nice stuff you've got there man. :thumb:

I say keep it up but heed BigK's call :)

yeah dude continue on, pretty interesting so far, but when snake shouts you should Cap it all to have a sense of urgency. other than that nice job man and continue with it. :thumb:

I'm gonna stop on it for a while. I'm gonna stay focused on a other story game based, like all the others around here. I will continue with this, but next chapter will probably come into a month or something.