Anyone who's read my previous confessions knows I've never had a girlfriend and that really sucks for me because everyone makes fun of me for it and up until recently I was really concerned for it.

Let me tell you a story:

At lunch I would sit with my best friend Rick, one day Rick ditched me so I found another friend who I followed around. Rick ditched me for pretty much every day after that so I followed my other friend around, and met this girl named Kirsten.
I may have felt really depressed and stabbed in the back by my best friend, but something great came out of it; Kirsten was everything I wanted. She was funny, energetic, and talkative just like me. As the days continued it turned out we shared the same fear of clowns and bugs, and we shared the same love of music and writing stories/poems. I found myself spending much more time with her; following her to classes, going out of my way to meet her by her locker, and calling her on my breaks from work. She also seemed to rather spend her time with me than with her other friends, as she would leave them to eat with me in the hallway for a week when I was in the hallway promoting a club.
And then as if it were a sign from God himself, I showed her my chin trick which made me popular freshmen year and which absolutely no one else I have met on earth can do. You know what she did after she saw me do this? She did it herself. She and I were the only two people that could do this. :wub: I told her how she was the good that came out of a terrible fight with my best friend, and one day told her she was irresistible at which she giggled.
I continued to slowly get closer to her, sitting with her at lunch every day, finding her in the hallway and walking to her classes...she was so beautiful, so giggly, and so perfect.
She had mentioned that she didn't have a boyfriend, and I had asked her in the second or third week of knowing her if she wanted to "hang out" sometime and she said yes. That never happened because if one of us wasn't busy then the other one was. So today my best friend (yes, we became friends again, that's another story) said to me that at this point since everything seems so certain that I should ask her to a movie or something.
I went to go sit with her as I always do, and during a silence I asked if she would want to see a movie or something next week.
Her response? "Why? Won't that be weird?"
I said "life is weird."
"but why?"
"because we've got to spend more time together!"
"but we spend so much time together in school, and weekends are reserved for my best friends" (she's always busy on week days)
:blink:

I changed the subject and tried my best to go about a normal rest of the lunch hour. I still found and talked to her in the hallway as I normally do, but during actual classes I felt crushed (especially when that asshole decided to take today to make fun of the fact that I've never kissed a girl)

now? as stated earlier I don't feel the urge to have a girlfriend as I used to, but I am quite confused; everything this time was perfect, this time made all the others look like dirt. Wasn't it obvious why I wanted to see a movie with her? Didn't she like me as much as it felt she did? Why can't I be more than a friend for just this once?

I thought the week my best friend and I faught was the worst week of my life, and yet she was what came out of it; if my friend and I hadn't fought I would have never met her...it was all meant to be, it seemed. But now that apparently it is not, what good is going to come out of this tragedy?

Hmm, that's rough dude. I don't know what to say. I've never been in that situation. Generally, if I ask a girl to see a movie, she giggles and accepts.

I think you should keep trying for her. She may have hurt you, but maybe she was playing hard to get. Ask her to see a movie again and if she says the same thing, tell her that you want to be more than friends and tell her how you feel.

I to, have been hurt by women in the past (I could share my story if you need someone to sympathise with you), but I encourage you not to give up. Ignore those who make fun of you aswell, for they do not deserve you're prensence.

Be strong and positive, life may be not be looking up for you now, but I promise that it will soon, for there is always a light at the end of tunnel. :)

A movie is a shitty place to take a girl.

You're not together yet, and the only thing worth taking her to the cinema for is if you're going to be making out for the two hour duration of the movie or if you've been together for a while and both of you genuinely want to see it, otherwise the two of you can't talk to one another and it would just end up being awkward.

As it is, think of something else. Hell, even tell her that you like her.

But movies? Trouble.

Dude, I know exactly what you're going through.
Happens to everyone around your age I think in your situation.
And if this helps, thats over half the people in my year last year.

You've just got to keep on going.
I know people hate to hear this, but something will come about eventually. And the more you don't concentrate on it, the quicker it will seem to come about, I assure you.

How old are you?

Me or him?

I'm 17.
He's 16 I believe.

yeah, that used to happen to me a lot, but after a while you learn from all the turn downs and you finally do everything right. then from there you just repeat over and over, hell, try to make it better. but yeah, I agree with JCC, movies...bad idea. :ph43r:

I don't see going to the movies as a bad thing if your already together or whatever. Just be sure to find a movie that she likes....because if she doesn't THEN there'll be trouble.

As for the entire situation, it sounds to me like she's just wondering wether you'll find her company interesting enough to go to the movies or whatever. It's either that, or she's playing hard to get, or just playing with you in general. Reasure her of your feelings, and you may get a different outcome. I say stick with it. :thumb:

Girls are by far one of the world's most complicated mechanisms. They lead you on as they love the attention. Never believe anything that's said unless its acted upon.

do not trust the smoker trust the roller

Do you still see this girl at school and so on? If so, keep getting more and more close to her, she'll eventually turn around.

And I think you need to get better friends as well or tell them to grow up if they take the piss out of you for not havn't a girlfriend.

You sexy beast ^_^

Once again I thank all of you, I will respond to the posts in the order they were posted.

sounds about right...it's just that every other time I had a crush (although those were not nearly as big as this one) I just told them, I didn't actually ask them out or anything so I thought I'd try something else

16 (17 in February) and she's the same but a grade below me

Well yesterday whenever I told someone about it I told them that I had decided to "not push forward too much but definately not back down"
so yeah, today I still looked for her at all the usual times and I still have lots of fun with her.

Care to explain what that means? :wacko:

Yes, as I said to someone else I've decided to continue on as if nothing has changed, and today that seemed to be alright, still fun.
And by far this guy isn't my friend who made fun of me, he's a new guy to the school and he just gets his giggles out of making fun of people. Generally I don't take it too seriously and just laugh along or even add to his jokes and agree with him, but that was just not the right thing for him to say on that day.

sorry i was pranging out a bit to much then.....just ignore some things i say lol

well just keep working at it bruv, im sure you'll pull her if you treat her good, my advice would be to let no embarresment or shyness get in the way, use whatever methods you can, just be confident, and try to make it clear to her you don't wana be "BM4LYF!" (some will understand that) or "best mates", point out things about her that you like about her, complaint her on decisions, but just make it clear that you like her......and anouther thing, it sounds like your being a bit to "clingy" maybe she does'nt want to spend all her time with you, but still likes you in the way you like her, give her some space now and again, however hard it may be...... also, just try and make suttle actions like leaning closer to her when she speaks and not asking her to repeat things

i wish you good luck mate, i know how hard it can be when your tring to impress a girl and your not sure its working, if it starts going wrong, keep working on it :thumb:

also....you never played spin the bottle or nothing at partys?? you'll get alot of girls that way, believe

well dude the fact that she cant even make time for you outside of school makes me think that shes not worth ur time and effort man. be friends by all means but dont go out of ur way to see her or n e thing, put the ball in her court. and about taking her to the movies. if its a girl ur just getting to know then DONT o to the cinema because ur not going to be talkin 4 like 3 hours and its not the best way to get to know a person lol. but its all good if its a girl ur friendly with and know well wich in ur case seems to be the situation... good luck man report back with the goings on lol !!! let us know how its goin

'Cinema is a place for people who dont want to speak'

As a wise man once said.

Benjamin speaks of the worlds biggest mystery... What the fock goes on in a womans head. Believe me dude... You wont figure it out. Just be her mate. You'll soon see if anythings going to come from it. She said weekends are for her mates. Ask her if she wants to go shopping or summin during a week day (gets around the time slots then ;)) Plus it means you can still talk like you do anyway. Keep it natural and smooth!

HAHA, your don't know nothing lol, movies a great place to take a bird, how can you say its not....your together for ages, by yourselfs, you can get close to her, cuddle up and have a quicky with her lol man, the movies has been so good to me in the past, i would recommend the movies for sure

Damn right ;)

Movies, if anything, are one of the most direct ways of letting a girl know you like her, she may have declined cause she felt a little nervous, wouldn't worry mate, as the others say, keep it natural and keep talking and hanging out the way you were, maybe she wants to know you a little better, just keep offering every now and then to do something, shopping, park, movies, whatever, just spend time talking.

Which one seeing as you got rid of my post :P

Its true, if you dont exactly want to spek then cinema is the way to go. Cinema AND something else can be a lethal combo tho. Just make sure you pay :P

Well you've got the upper hand there, girls usually like older guys, it's an attraction. But really, I woulden't worry too much at that age. I had my first serious girlfriend at 15, and thats when I lost my virginity. So as you can tell it was quite a serious relationship, but it crashed and burned after a year anyways! So yeah, you're 16, you've got plenty of time to play the field so I woulden't worry too much about this girl anyway..there will be plenty others.

yes there will, i have been with plenty of girls to tell you that they come and go...pretty much like the tide...only more of a wave, anyway, im only 16 and i have had a few "seirous" relationships, take the one im in now...ai yi i, but compared to some of you, im probably just talking out of my arse... anyway, there will be loads more dont lose heart

okay, so overall consensus is to just keep at it but don't be too suggestive (yes I've read all responses but this is the majority idea)

but what should I say if she asks "why" again? The three options I see to that are: (in order of least to most obvious "i like you")
1) because hanging out with you is so much fun
2) well we're so much alike I can only assume it'd be a blast
3) I like you
4) I NEED YOU

because I'm kind of thinking like you guys said that she thought the movie would be "weird" and she was asking "why" for an actual answer, because it surely wasn't a "nope" response....

as for an actual daily update: today I did same-old-same old but of course as I said I actually feel more comfortable talking to her than I used to. At lunch I stopped by her table a little later than normal but we still had fun talking just the same, and I was about to say "you're so cute" when she was giggling and being herself but I stopped myself at "you're so-" and then she just kept asking me what I was gonna say and it went something like this:
me- "well just know it was a compliment"
her- "well why can't you tell me then...it's not dirty is it?"
me- "trust me it isn't; but it was a compliment"
her- "so why can't you tell me? is it embarrassing?"
me- *silent*
her- "well fine I won't ask anymore because I know that will just bug you even more than if I did ask"

ironically the class after that my friend Dustin was told "you're so cute" by a girl two seats in front of him, it was at this that I realized I should have just said it

>_<

You should've out and said it, my friend, it would've set you in good stead.

If I were you my answer would be "Because you make me smile,(don't say happy) i just like hanging out with you and laughing, youre a really good friend and i feel comfortable around you and i can just be myself" Thats what got be my woman, but i didnt really have to try too hard with her at first she liked me more than i liked her.

You should also take into account what Blue Pheonix said though too. Youre attemps to hang out with her outside of school have been shot to hell which would lead me to believe that she isn't interested in you. Now im not going to say that is 100% true or 100% false because i dont know you and i dont know this girl BUT if she continues to act the same way then I would say leave things as they are. Just friends.

Trust me man I know it's not easy to just forget about somone you like, (im actually thinking about the girl i love right now and wishing she would come back but thats a really long story) but if you want, just say that little line i got my girl with, you can change it around as need be and just see how it goes.

Good luck man, women can be the best and also the worst things that will ever happen to you in youre life and unfortunatly its not up to us to decide which one it will be, all we can do is keep our head high and think with our minds and not our heart and only then can we begin to know what love is.


[Edit] Ive also posted a little rant on here too (actually really long rant) about my girl and the stuff ive gone through with her but ive never said her name but now for some reason i feel the need to get it out.
Her name is Autumn, and she is the women version my myself and perfect in every way.

God i sound so fucking emo right now.

This is me, but I find being asked "why" as the girl putting you in a difficult and uncomfortable position, and that is offensive to me. Asking the guy why is almost trivializing the guy's feelings, and I've actually expressed this to girls before. If you ask a girl what she likes about you, even innocently, it'll usually result in awkwardness.

Personally I think you should say 1 or 2, becuase firstly,they are true and secondly she'll fall for you much more easily if your spending time outside of school as well and it would be once you have hung out with her outside of school that would be the opportune moment to tell her you like her. 3 may work but it could lead to even more uncomfortable questions.

I'm pretty sure she doesn't realise she is doing it.

yeah, she even said today that she's really oblivious, and I know by how she said it that it wasn't meant to be an insulting "why"

so yeah, things are just getting more complicated the more I think about them, so I figure I'll just go about how I've been going about it.
I'll keep casually talking to her, having a great time, if a compliment comes to mind I'll say it, and if she asks me to Turnabout; I'll gladly accept (and maybe I can actually use the topic of turnabout to get a feel for what she's thinking)

I have been crushed too before :(. So I do know how you how you feel

Sorry dude but you just need to move on and hope for the best.

EDIT: Ignore all this written below, I was paranoid

well things have taken a turn for the worst, it seems.
She's had about three stalkers in the past, and I guess I could have figured that it's possible that this would make her paranoid and have some trust issues...but I never thought this would apply to me
She hasn't been by her locker at the times she usually is, and she's been taking some different routes to her classes it seems. I get the feeling this has to do with me. I'm concerned she may think I'm one of those stalkers, and I really don't want to, but I think I have to start drifting away from her. Today I didn't go to her whenever I normally would. This was the first time in like a month and a half that I didn't sit with her at lunch.

It's kind of killing me inside, I wish I could at least keep her as a friend, but I get the feeling she thinks I'm stalking her or something, and the only way I make sure she doesn't think this is if I completely drift away from her....

I'll be perfectly honest, I don't know you and thats even freaking me out. Waiting by her locker and knowing her routes to classes... I suggest toning down your behaviour, as from my perspecitve you appear to be bordering obsessive.

It happens I'm afraid. By avoiding an issue your just going to dig yourself deeper as your actions will begin to over-ride emotions. This resulting in you looking like a complete and utter twat.

Tell her how you feel, jump straight in at the deep end. Place her in the spot, this way she won't have the ability to lie her way out. You should realise where you stand depending on her response. The news may not be what you wish to hear and judging from your constant updates, I doubt very much that she is interested. Like most girls, she more than likely enjoys the attention of you groveling at her feet. Totally oblivious to the fact she fails to feel the same way as you do, she'll forever keep you in this false sense of security merely for the attention.

Now I know its easier said than done, but just tell her straight. I've had plenty of experience with the opposite sex, find out where you stand. If it's not meant to be, move on. Don't hang around holding onto false hope.



Edit - I've just noticed the 'Ignore'. Bollocks.

haha yeah, no problem. She started talking to me like nothing was wrong

and don't you know where your friends are? I mean not like go out of your way to find out, but like if you find out a friend is at this place during this time then you'll just remember that and if you're good friends you'll take that opportunity to hang out

Yes and no. If I was back in school I'd have some ideas of where my mates were... But nothing like knowing routes to lessons etc. We dont have lockers tho. So they cuold be coming from anywhere.

Was usually, Tesco, Atrium, Canteen, PE Room, Outside, Around town in cars.

When you have a girlfriend in highschool, It's understandable for you to know what the're classes are....If you didn't, you'd probably get in a butt-load of trouble. :P

Knowing the routes of your friends however, isn't really recomended. And if you do....hide it. ;)



So what's the update with her anyway? Can't comment if we don't know what's going on.

This has happened so many times to me. Every girl I even tried to ask out didn't feel the same way. After a while I just began to loose hope and now all those girls I asked out (who are still good friends to me) have boyfriends. I once thought I had met the girl of my dreams and we became best friends but I kept edging her on and eventually found out that she thinks of me as a brother. Yeah we went through a whole lot of shit. Now I'm just pissed cause most of my friends have found someone, and I haven't, and what pisses me off even more is the people who think they are so cool just cause they've fucked a couple of times, and then I get looked down upon cause I'm still a virgin. I don't even really care about sex at this point I just wan't someone special in my life. I am a senior in high school now and I haven't had a girlfriend for the past four years.

I still don't understand what's wrong with knowing where to find my buddies. All my classes this year are practically in the same hallway so I've got tons of free time during passing time to just roam around, and so it's through this that I figure out where everyone is. I'm not saying I write it down or anything it's just that eventually I realize that maybe this person is usually here about at this time so then I just remember that.
It comes in handy when I need to ask about homework.

Which is completely understandalbe. But with friends that are girls, that you might possibly like to go out with, It might be kind of creepy to them. They'll think your obssessing over them, and that'll drive them away from you.

^ Its true trust me from when i used to fancy this other girl she never spoke to me until i told her mate I fancyed somone else then she started to chat to me again.