As one of the two writers for Camp PandaMonium, I've written a few episodes that were just done for shits and giggles, they still got the correct format, and same actual recording format, restricted down to whatever characters on MPO+ can do, etc. If you do follow CPO, then you won't have heard of many of these characters, so I'll show you who they are, to give you a better idea:

Panda

Zero

Kimble

Naked Snake


"Grisha"

Anya

Gavriil


*Note, if you don't follow CPO, some of this MAY be a bit confusing, but since this is set before the events of CPO, it'll be easier for most.*

EXT. TOWN - MAIN QUAD - NIGHT

Two USSR SOLDIERS, PANDA and ZERO, stand near a bus.

PANDA
Ha! This place is PERFECT!

ZERO
I know dude, look at how big it
is!

PANDA
It’s like we’d be president of our
own mini country!

ZERO
Except....it’s a town, and you’re
an idiot.

Panda turns to Zero and points forward.

PANDA
Hey Zero, isn’t that Kimble from
the Guantanimo base we were
stationed at? Wasn’t he arrested?

ZERO
That was a while ago but yeah, I
think he tried robbing this bank
with a fork spoon.

PANDA
A spork? Aren’t those plastic?

ZERO
I never said he was arrested THAT
long.

KIMBLE, (Sigint) carries an UZI, approaches Panda and Zero.

KIMBLE
Ohhhh SHIT! Panda? Zero?! Damn
man I ain’t seen yo asses ’round
ina LONG time man! What’chall doin
here man?

PANDA
Hi Kimble, uhhh we’re actually here
to turn this town into our new base
of operations, PandaMonium Land.

ZERO
I already told you dude, that’s gay
to the fifth degree! I prefer
Ground ZERO.

Panda and Kimble turn to Zero.

KIMBLE
Man brotha Ground Zero is the
crater where nukes landed before
they explode MAN! How ’bout
Kimbleton?

ZERO
KIMBLETON? What kinda homo ass
name is that dude?

PANDA
Uh oh...

Panda turns away.

ZERO
(nervous)
Ohhhh right...heh heh....that's your name..about homo ass names,
I meant-

KIMBLE
(to Panda)
Yo Panda brotha, how’d y’all score
dis joint anyway?

PANDA
Oh, the military sent us here to
run our own base near the Russian
border, and if the Russians invade
American soil, we’ll detect them.

KIMBLE
Yo dogg...uhhh...we IN Russia right
now.

PANDA
Oh...then I guess we’re setting up
camp here in their territory, but
why would we invade the
Russians? What did they ever do
to...oh right, the Cold
War.....nevermind.

Kimble and Zero stare at Panda. Awkward silence.

INT. BUILDING NEAR ENTRANCE GATE - TOWN

Two RUSSIAN OFFICERS, GAVRIIL (Fat headed Officer) and ANYA
(female officer with red hair) stand next to one
another. Behind them is a CARDBOARD BOX.

GAVRIIL
(Russian accent)
The Americans soldiers have
arrived. Is Grisha here yet?

ANYA
(accent)
He’s in position, heh, that those
Americans were dumb enough to
believe we’d just hand over our
base of operations to a pair of
simple Americans like them is just
hilarious.

GAVRIIL
(accent)
The Americans do know something is
going on though, why else send
these two here? To investigate
us. And the black one, he was
trying to rob one of our banks in
Moscow with I think a spork.

ANYA
(accent)
So Grisha shall kill him too?

GAVRIIL
(accent)
No, you go meet with those two
Americans, I’ll deal with the other
American myself, tell Grisha to get
his SVD ready.

Anya walks out of the building. Gavriil draws a
HANDGUN. The box behind him moves toward him. Gavriil
turns around, the box stops moving.

GAVRIIL
(accent)
Hmmm...

EXT. TOWN - OUTSIDE THE BUILDING

GUN FIRE rings out, Gavriil cries out. The sound of his body
dropping to the floor RINGS out. The Box runs out through
the side door.

EXT. TOWN - MAIN QUAD - NIGHT

The three stand by the quad, Anya approaches them. Kimble
turns to Zero.

KIMBLE
(whispers)
Daaaaaamn Zero brotha, dis girl’s
got it goin ON man.

ZERO
(whispers)
Yeah she’s hot as hell....but she’s
got what going on?

Kimble steps away from Zero.

KIMBLE
White folks...

ANYA
(accent)
You must be captain-

PANDA
(interrupts)
Oh ummm.....I’m actually a private,
but you can call me captain if
you’d like.

ANYA
(accent)
Yyyyyyes, anyway, I’m more than
happy to supply you and your men
our beloved town of Innokentiy. We
want nothing more to ensure that
the Cold War doesn’t escalate
further tensions between our home
nations.

Panda turns to the right as a box runs forward in the
distance.

PANDA
(stares to the right)
Yeaaah...me too....
(to Anya)
So do you have the documents we
need to sign?

ANYA
(accent)
Of course, you all sit tight...
(turns to the right)
I’ll go get those deed documents
for you.

CUT TO:

INSERT - POINT OF VIEW - SVD SCOPE

Scope points at Anya and nods as it slowly turns toward
Panda’s head.

BEGIN SCENE

EXT. TOWN - BRIDGE NEAR EXIT GATE
A Black Genome soldier GRISHA, aims his SVD SNIPER over the
bridge, lies on his stomach. The box approaches behind him.

GRISHA
(accent)
Farewell you filthy American dogs...

MAN (O.S)
You know, filthy American dogs is
kind of offensive, don’tcha think?

Grisha turns around and sees NAKED SNAKE standing over him,
pointing his HANDGUN at Grisha’s head.

GRISHA
(accent)
Snake!

SNAKE
Kind of a pity isn't it? I've been on YOUR hit
list for so long, and here YOU are at gun point.

Grisha growls angrily.

SNAKE
Just explain to me this much, what's White Shadow
planning now that they send YOU to kill these people?

GRISHA
(accent)
We have our reasons.

SNAKE
Reasons being what? If you've listened to them for
more than 15 seconds, you'd know those guys are
harmless.....and frankly....incredibly stupid.

GRISHA
(accent)
I don't ask the questions, Snake. I get the contract, and
I do them in. White Shadow wanted me to act on this
contract, so I did.

SNAKE
Spoken like a true amateur. And let me guess, once
you're done with those soldiers, you're gonna do in the
two Soviet Officers on site, and take this place for White
Shadow. Right?

Grisha turns to Snake, silent.

GRISHA
(accent)
How did you kn-

SNAKE
So what exactly IS this project "Кошмар" that you have
to use this entire town to set it up? I know a bit more than
you think.

GRISHA
(accent)
Too bad you won't live long enough to share that knowledge
with anyone else.

Grisha tosses a smoke grenade while he’s lying down
forward. It explodes. The smoke clears as Grisha is attempting to sneak
away. Snake grabs him and slams him to the ground.

CUT TO:

EXT. TOWN - MAIN QUAD

The three are all looking at Anya, who is staring at the
bridge where Snake is punching Grisha over and over again.

PANDA
Uhhh, aren’t you going to get the
umm....papers?

ANYA
(stares at the bridge)
Yeaaaah...I will, but first
I...I...

Snake kicks Grisha to the ground and draws a silenced MK.23
and points it at Grisha’s body while he’s down and shoots
him several times.

Anya jerks back.

ZERO
Hey lady, uhhh you okay?

ANYA
(nervous)
Yes! Yes! No problem, I’ll hehe,
I’ll go get them right away....

Anya runs away, the three stare amongst one another.

KIMBLE
Damn man dis bitch is TRIPPIN, yo.

ZERO
I didn’t see her trip over anything.

KIMBLE
Man I hate you.

PANDA
Uhhh...anyone else notice that
living box running around?

ZERO
Living box? Dude you gotta stop
licking dry ice, it’s REALLY starting
to fuck up your brain. MORE SO
than usual.

PANDA
No I’m serious, I saw this box
running around and-

Panda turns and sees the box stopped in front of the
building Gavriil and Anya were in. Panda points forward!

PANDA
There! There! See?! There he is!

The other two stare at the box, it’s motionless. The two
stare back at Panda.

PANDA
See?! I told you!
(Panda waves)
It's the Box man!
(to Zero and Kimble)
I told you it was real!

ZERO
You forgot to take your riddilin
again, didn’t you?

PANDA
It’s not that, it’s just-

Panda turns back to the box, it’s gone.

PANDA
Wow....he’s good.

Kimble and Zero stare at each other and shrug at each other.

INT. BUILDING NEAR ENTRANCE GATE - TOWN

Anya approaches Gavriil’s dead body.

ANYA
(accent)
Damn.

Snake sneaks behind Anya and draws his Mk.23. Anya quickly
turns around, carrying an M780 shotgun. The two stand off,
both point their weapons at one another.

ANYA
(accent)
Snake.

SNAKE
Anya. You know I must admit, your
scheme here is something else,
y’know that? You were just gonna
lure these innocent soldiers into
your little web and pick them off
with an amateur like Grisha. But
what were your plans after that?
Take this base for yourself and use it
to be able to communicate with the
Americans while under the guise of those
two outside?

Anya looks down and growls angrily.

SNAKE
A good plan I must admit,
too bad you never thought it through, especially
when you hired a White Shadow assassin who was gonna
kill you right after the job was done.

ANYA
(accent)
Your government should've known better than
to send easily expendable people like those two
idiots.

SNAKE
It’s not my government, not
anymore, just tell me this, what does
keeping in key with the American army
do? You report intel to the Soviets? Offer
the Americans FALSE reports and botch their
ops? How long you think it would take for that
to escalate up to the Americans taking action when
they found out what you were up to?

ANYA
(accent)
It’s of no concern to us, Snake...I know
you, I know you’re tired of this
war, I know you have been since
Grozyj Gradj, we're just trying to end this
war. For our side, but still at least bring it
to an end.

Snake grumbles angrily.

ANYA
(accent)
Join us. You don’t have to die here.

SNAKE
Join you? What makes you any better than
the Americans?

ANYA
(accent)
Loyalty to our soldiers.

SNAKE
Yeah, with people like Gavriil, Grisha, or YOU, somehow
I find that hard to believe. But all nonsense aside, Grisha and
Gavriil are dead, there's no reason I have to add you to the
dead Soviet count now is there? So drop the gun, Anya, you can
just walk away, right now.

ANYA
(accent)
Well, since you put it that way...

Anya fires her shotgun, Snake is knocked to the
ground. Anya approaches Snake’s body.

ANYA
(accent)
Pity, you weren't half bad looking either.
Too bad you're an idealistic American fool...

Anya laughs and approaches the exit, Snake rises to his feet
and points his Mk.23 forward. Snake sighs as he opens fire.

EXT. TOWN - MAIN QUAD

Panda and Zero stand in the quad waiting.

PANDA
Uhh Zero, is it weird that it’s
taking her THIS long to get those
deed release forms? I think that
evil living box may have gotten to
her.

ZERO
You’re a fucking idiot.

Kimble approaches the two.

KIMBLE
Yo, uhhh she’s dead man. Took a
bullet to da head man. Ain't that
a trip.

ZERO
Fuck man, then that means we can’t
run Ground Zero here then. We
needed those forms.

PANDA
Camp PandaMONIUM for the last
time. But I don't get it, who did this?

KIMBLE
Beats me, but if I were you, I'd try lookin'
fo anotha base to operate from. DIS place is
fuckin WAAAAY outta whack, homie.

PANDA
Well, I guess this means we
gotta head out. You wanna come
with us Kimble? We could start it
together, I mean, It’ll be cool to
start hanging out again like we
used to.

KIMBLE
Nah dogg, I’ma stay ’round here in
a lil while longa, then I’m gettin’
transferred to the base in Karp
mountain base. So I guess I’ll see
y’all ’round.

PANDA
I guess....man...I hate good
byes...
(sniffs)
Oh come here you!

KIMBLE
You hug me nigga, and I’ma break yo fingers.

Panda turns to Zero for a moment.

ZERO
I’m not hugging you either, shit for brains.

PANDA
Oh alright, well, I guess this is
goodbye Kimble, see you around
then.

KIMBLE
Word.

ZERO
What word?

Kimble stares at Zero for a moment, and turns back to Panda.

KIMBLE
Aite den, y'all take it easy, ya hear?

Panda and Zero walk away as Kimble walks away another
direction.

CUT TO:

EXT. SECURITY BASE - DAY

Two GRU SOLDIERS, Panda and Zero stand outside the main base.

PANDA
Man, you remember back when we were
just starting out trying to find a base to start
Camp PandaMonium? Man, where does the
time go?

ZERO
Dude that shit was like last week,
stop being an idiot.

PANDA
Oh....well still, it doesn’t hurt
to ponder over.

ZERO
With you, I can never be too sure.

Zero walks away, Panda sighs and joins him.

FADE OUT: