Tick-tock
Tick-tock
Monotony batters at my mind
It's rather irritating
It's the sort of sound that you
Get when a bee is buzzing around.

I'd be taken aback, and possibly even faint
If some of the people I know
Came up with a truly original thought
As it is I feel like I can talk to the entire human race all at once.
I just have to talk to one person.

It's a double-edged blade
Which I've always found to be a rather lackluster metaphor anyway
Because, if you had a double edged blade
Wouldn't the smart thing to do be to put your fingers on the non-sharp part of the blade,
Rather than just letting it slice through your hand as if it were a bit of ham?

But apart from rampant pedanticism
I still must digress that society is
Rather boring, really
It's like having a discussion with a wall,
But at least a wall doesn't think itself to be special.
Well, too often.

That's a quite weird poem... But I like it. I think you have some talent in this. It doesn't contain the most original thoughts ever, but still much more interesting than most of the poetry I've read (Which isn't much :P)

It was a different direction for me. I'm not sure that I like it as much as the other poetry that I've written, but one of my readers (I can actually say that about people now. I r accomplished) said that this was his favourite, so I don't know, different people, different taste.

To be honest, the rhythm of the poem seemed to match the title. Came across as boring to me, and kinda tasteless. Maybe I didn't connect to your feelings how I should, if you are even capable of such emotion considering your vile attitude in general at the moment.

Pretty typical views from you, where you seem to place yourself on a pedestal and look down on the entire human race. And then go on to say at the end 'But at least a wall doesn't think itself to be special.'

IRONY?

Yes m'am! Mmm, tastes good. Society and the human race thinks itself special in all its apparent lack of originality, whereas JCC is one-of-a-kind. I'd agree with the latter of that sentence, though I won't delve into the specifics of what 'one-of-a-kind' you are exactly. Did I get the wrong end of the shit-stained stick? Ah, I don't really care.

To say something positive, some of the metaphors were quite a joy to read. Interesting wording in areas and I'm glad it didn't last too long.

But at least JCC doesn't think himself to be special...
Well, ...wait...

Ooooooh youch! Someone's become quite the hellcat lately, huh? Haha, I love it.

This one, seems a bit too "attitudish" for my taste in all honesty. Namely because I can't agree with a single bit inside this poem. I'll elaborate:

A. What makes you any different than the rest of the world? You think you're any better than the rest of them? I can guarantee if I find a certain group that matches your persona, they'll tell me the exact same shit as you, we're all the same in many ways, but not to THIS extent.
B. You say as if ALL of us are the same boring individual and that you aren't.

I'd have left that part out, because this is what radical extremists say before they set off explosives in my mind. You gotta try and aim away from just saying society is boring, because that line in itself is rather tiresome when not given a directive or reason to why that is. You should extend and explain yourself through poem.

The flow is good, that much I can admit, but I disagree with this poem very much.

Bees that go tick-tock? i so wanna live in your neighborhood!

i'm sure you'd be takin a back, takin it goood.
the whole human race, or just one person? choices...

i totally agree, after all it's a freakin double edged blade!
wow, you're not so dumb after a-

......
i withdraw previous statement..

for someone who thinks he's hotshot with poems, my friend, you sure ain't the cream of the shit. :lol: i'm disappointed

I'm a misanthrope, so your view of humanity and society doesn't bother me. It's not the greatest thing I've ever read, but it's far from the worst. But hey, man, you don't have to be no Walt Whitman, just write for yourself and fuck everyone else.

Though I agree with what you've said, I don't like how it flows and some of the imagery/metaphors invoked. Not your best work.

My favourite part of the whole thing is actually the title- 'Tick-Tock Monotone', reminds me of NOFX's 'Medio-core'. Nice. :P