In My Sea

In the port,
I waited for your crashing cascading crescendos,
Ecstacy! Warm the cold cockles of my heart
With your bellowing croons and wails,
And make my holy land yours again!

Effervescent in your delight, an ethereal glow;
The absinthe tint ricochets off my head!

My veins pound and pulsate
For you to imbue me with your aromatic artificial approbation,
Delight! Humour me, make me a smile that I can wear
For all of the pretty ladies that I meet on my travels,
Let me tip my hat to you and your belov’d!

Those disfigured features of contorted glory,
Swaying and amalgamating, hold a terrible power over me.

Adamantine heart!
I would cave out your chest and place a lie inside,
A velvety golden liquid deception!

Indeed, you must lose your way,
My only friend!
The horns of retribution will catch you, I am assured;
And if not, you can take solace
In my sea.

I Am the River

Dip me in wax and whisper those perversions to me.
Sodomization of this innocence.
Defile the very fibre of my being.
I’m your catharsis.
Let me flow into you,
Irritate your mind like a red sore
And manipulate your Noospheric values.

Blessed be your pale, cold, sweat.
I love to make you perspirate, panic and
Refract through me.

As the sunlight fades it becomes ever more apparent
That your volatile psychological situation
Has reached a point beyond revitalisation.
I’m going to tease and mutilate your idiosyncracies,
Contort the darkest, deepest, disturbed desires of your essence.
I am the river.

Ah, you couldn't leave with us thinking you were rubbish at writing poems - i'm touched.

Since you can't seem to cordially conduct yourself beyond throwing snide remarks at others who are doing nothing but posting poetry, do me a great big favor, save me the eyesore and don't post in here.

i really like these poems JCC, also, t'was a great pleasure to see you are still on the forums JCC.

Great stuff, man.

Thanks.

I've updated the poems to make them flow better and to add things that I felt were missing.

Fear, do you think that you could give an in-depth critique? I know that you're an avid reader, and it would help me greatly.

Anyone else is welcome too.

Both have a good flow, but keep in mind that a deep vocabulary does little to create meaning. Pirates of the Caribbean comes to mind: "I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means 'no'."

Also, you've got to either go with the superfluous words or go without them. It looks a tad silly to see ornate verbiage, assonance, and alliteration followed by 'For all of the pretty ladies that I meet on my travels.' I know you can do better.

And this is entirely in the realm of personal taste, but I don't like ending the poem with a short phrase that ends up being the title. I think that by choosing an apt title, you give yourself much more room to work with creatively because you can use the title to (mis)direct the reader.