This is a new style for me, for one it's partly autobiographical, this mode of life is one that I fear greatly, and it's also got a lot of toned-down, simpler language.

Receding Years

I’m an old and wizened fool;
Gods, how my features have receded!
I feel like I’m swimming in my own cynicism
As my wrinkled hands lose their last energy
And I spend my days in front of the television
Watching sitcoms and drinking cheap beers.

I miss my youth;
How I miss it all!
If only I’d not wasted my years
Unknowing that my end
Would be spent in a stained white vest
Pissing away my last as I hit the toilet seat.

I live my worst nightmare;
I remember how I would curse these days!
Full of a youthful exuberance and carefree expression
I avowed my disgust at age
And those saggy old bastards
That smelt of aged urine and medical institutions.

I’ve joined their ranks;
How ironic, in its way!
I wish I could pluck up that courage
And pop the pills
Like I testified that I would
Those years ago.

In my old age I’ve receded into cowardice.
How disappointing.
Bottles of cheap liquor strewn about my decrepit hole
This abyss of despair that no sane person could call ’home’!
Reminiscing on when I could get an erection without chemical aid
And didn’t get my kicks from the Antique Roadshow.

I promised that I’d live and die like a poet.
Well shit,
I lived like a waste and
I’ll die like a pissed-off, pissed-on proletariat.

Like I said, I laughed pretty much straight away. Oh irony, how sweet you taste.

Gods? Overused, for me. But I guess there's no substitute- 'Golly'? 'Gosh'? Anyway, I like the swimming line, and 'wrinkled hands' not only strengthens that, but also the 'old' metaphor.

'Pissing away' is another good line, even though I don't usually like that language.

I feel this one if kinda going off-track, though it does reinforce what you've already said, and of course show your 'disgust'. Maybe consider redoing the last two lines?

Here's the 'goth' influence, I guess. :P
Seems to break the rhythym of the rest of it, seems kinda static. In the last verse I had issue with the content, this time's it's more the execution, it's surprising to see you seemingly run out of words, of all people. :D

Getting more literal here, which seems strange- the rest of it seems built on metaphors, but I guess that may be me. The bluntness of the 'How dissapointing' is an excellent contrast, I love it.

This is the best one, definitely. Like a true conclusion, sums it up nicely, has that 'blunt' line again, and the last line is pulled off really well. The rhyme seemingly comes from no-where, fits nicely, and the word is perfect- though you may wanna tell people what it means. :P

Thanks for your comments.

The 'pills' paragraph is actually one of my mindsets at this point in time. I decided that I'd sooner just die than live a life as a cynical old prat, and should I feel myself evolving into such a sad creature, I'd overdose on sleeping pills. Thought I'd work that in there. :P

I think I'm going to change the 'Gods!' part. At first I was sticking to my pretentious, 19th century Symbolism style, but this poem went in a completely different direction and I think that I just forgot to adapt it as it went on. That's part of the problem of writing spontaneously, I guess, you go with the contours of your thoughts.

I think that it gets more literal throughout. From the beginning, with a few detachments from reality and literary techniques, slowly diluting until you come to the end which was, I guess, a way of interpreting a frustration or a shortness of tether, so to speak.

Thanks a lot for your comments, it's appreciated.

Believe me when I say that I understand your fear of aging to the point of withering in mind and body. It's not something I'm looking forward to.

And I do not promote nor condone suicide, but I must say it reminded me of a few words from a fellow named Hunter S. Thompson.

"I would feel real trapped in life if I didn't know I could commit suicide at any time"

for my taste the poem doesn't have the right amount of flow but other than that it's quite good. not many people can make a poem about old age as well as you did, you should be proud

Great poem, but why 96? Why not 69? So much better.

Hey there,

Nice poem I really liked it. Really talented. And I actually understood it (I think), unlike some other poems. ;D Great job.