It has to be said Monthy Python is one of the funniest guys ever. Which films do you find the funniest and which particular quotes make you laugh?

I like the Life of Brian and The Holy Grail best and here is a quote from the Bridge of Death.



Bridgekeeper: What...is your favorite color?



Galahad: (relieved) Blue! (starts across; oops) NO!

YELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!!!!



(Arthur steps forward)



Bridgekeeper: STOP!

He who would cross the Bridge of Death

Must answer me

These questions three

Ere the other side he see.



Arthur: Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.



Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?



Arthur: King Arthur of the Britons!



Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?



Arthur: I seek the Holy Grail!



Bridgekeeper: What...is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?



Arthur: (brief pause) What do you mean, an African or a European swallow?



Bridgekeeper: (confused) Well...I don't know...AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!



Bedevere: (crossing behind Arthur) How do you know so much about swallows,

sire?

Arthur: Well, you have to know these sorts of things when you're a king,

you know...



*** Note: The following bit was cut from the movie. ***



(Arthur and Bedevere approach a gigantic lake.

A boat in the shape of a dragon glides slowly

towards them. As they prepare to cross, the

same old man suddenly appears before them.)



Boat-keeper: STOP!

He who would cross the Sea of Fate

Must answer me these questions twenty-eight!



(Arthur and Bedevere look at each other. They look

at the old man. They look back at each other. They

pick the old man up, throw him in the water, and board

the ship.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It may be long but it is so goddamn funny! What are your favourite parts?

My favorite part has to be when they come to the knight from hloy grail.

They fight him and then he says something like "Its a mere flesh wound" when they cut his armns off.
Also after that (when he has no legs and no arms) he shouts after them: "COME BACK, I'LL BITE YOUR BLOODY ANKLES OFF!!!"

Monty Python and the Meaning of Life
Maitre D': How are you feeling today, sir?
Fat Man: Better...
Maitre D': Oh, excellent.
Fat Man: ...Better get a bucket.
[The Fat Man is seated and proceeds to eat almost everything in the restaurant. Eventually, he starts to puke. The Maitre D' sends a man to clean up the mess, and the Fat Man continues to puke, now on the cleaner's back. The Fat Man also continues eating, until he finally bursts open and all of the food is blown out of his stomach.]
That was :lmao: hilarious when I watched it at age 8.

MP:atHG

Bedemir: Why do you think she is a whitch (SP)?
Man: She turned me into a newt!
Bedemir: A newt?
Man:..... I got better!

French Dude: YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMPSTER, AND YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES!

TIM: Behold the cave of Kyre Banorg!
ARTHUR: Right! Keep me covered.
???: What with?
ARTHUR: Just keep me covered.
TIM: Too late! [dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: What?
TIM: There he is!
ARTHUR: Where?
TIM: There!
ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit?
TIM: It is the rabbit!
ARTHUR: You silly sod! You got us all worked up!
TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and
bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a killer!

NARRATOR: And so Arthur and Bedemir and Sir Robin set out on their search to
find the enchanter of whom the old man had spoken in Scene 24. Beyond the
forest they met Launcelot and Galahad, and there was much rejoicing.
ALL: Yay! Yay!
NARRATOR: In the frozen land of Nador they were forced to eat Robin's
minstrels. And there was much rejoicing.
ALL: Yay!

Best. Movie. Ever.

Yeah, here's another one of my favourites.

BLOOD & THUNDER PROPHET:
...And the bezan shall be huge and black, and the eyes thereof red with the blood of living creatures, and the whore of Babylon shall ride forth on a three-headed serpent, and throughout the lands, there'll be a great rubbing of parts. Yeeah...
FALSE PROPHET:
...For the demon shall bear a nine-bladed sword. Nine-bladed! Not two or five or seven, but nine, which he will wield on all wretched sinners, sinners just like you, sir, there, and the horns shall be on the head, with which he will...
BORING PROPHET:
...Obadiah, his servants. There shall, in that time, be rumours of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi-- with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril that, in that time, shall the third one...
BRIAN:
How much? Quick.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
What?
BRIAN:
It's for the wife.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Oh. Uhhh, twenty shekels.
BRIAN:
Right.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
What?
BRIAN:
There you are.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Wait a minute.
BRIAN:
What?

HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Well, we're-- we're supposed to haggle.
BRIAN:
No, no. I've got to get--
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
What do you mean, 'no, no, no'?
BRIAN:
I haven't time. I've got--
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Well, give it back, then.
BRIAN:
No, no, no. I just paid you.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Burt!
BURT:
Yeah?
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
This bloke won't haggle.
BURT:
Won't haggle?!
BRIAN:
All right. Do we have to?
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Now, look. I want twenty for that.
BRIAN:
I-- I just gave you twenty.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Now, are you telling me that's not worth twenty shekels?
BRIAN:
No.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Look at it. Feel the quality. That's none of your goat.
BRIAN:
All right. I'll give you nineteen then.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
No, no, no. Come on. Do it properly.
BRIAN:
What?
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Haggle properly. This isn't worth nineteen.
BRIAN:
Well, you just said it was worth twenty.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Ohh, dear. Ohh, dear. Come on. Haggle.
BRIAN:
Huh. All right. I'll give you ten.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
That's more like it. Ten?! Are you trying to insult me?! Me, with a poor dying grandmother?! Ten?!
BRIAN:
All right. I'll give you eleven.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Now you're gettin' it. Eleven?! Did I hear you right?! Eleven?! This cost me twelve. You want to ruin me?!
BRIAN:
Seventeen?
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
No, no, no, no. Seventeen.
BRIAN:
Eighteen?
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
No, no. You go to fourteen now.
BRIAN:
All right. I'll give you fourteen.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Fourteen?! Are you joking?!
BRIAN:
That's what you told me to say.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Ohh, dear.
BRIAN:
Ohh, tell me what to say. Please!
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Offer me fourteen.
BRIAN:
I'll give you fourteen.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
He's offering me fourteen for this!
BRIAN:
Fifteen!
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Seventeen. My last word. I won't take a penny less, or strike me dead.
BRIAN:
Sixteen.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Done. Nice to do business with you.
BRIAN:
Huh.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Tell you what. I'll throw you in this as well.
BRIAN:
I don't want it, but thanks.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Burt!
BURT:
Yeah?
BRIAN:
All right! All right! All right!
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Now, where's the sixteen you owe me?
BRIAN:
I just gave you twenty.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Oh, yeah. That's right. That's four I owe you, then.
BRIAN:
Well, that's all right. That's fine. That's fine.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
No. Hang on. I've got it here somewhere.
BRIAN:
That's all right. That's four for the gourd.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Four? For this gourd? Four?! Look at it. It's worth ten if it's worth a shekel.
BRIAN:
But you just gave it to me for nothing.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
Yes, but it's worth ten!
BRIAN:
All right. All right.
HARRY THE HAGGLER:
No, no, no, no. It's not worth ten. You're supposed to argue, 'Ten for that? You must be mad!' Ohh, well. [sniff] One born every minute.


Possibly the funniest EVAR?!11!

That's simply the funniest part in tLoB!

ARTHUR: Have we got bows?
???: No.
LAUNCELOT: We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the
sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother Maynard! Bring up the
Holy Hand Grenade! [repititions of "di ay este ooo domine doe nai ay is requiem-
sort of phoenetically] How does it, uh... how does it work?
???: I know not, my liege.
???: Consult the Book of Armaments!
MAYNARD: Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.
BROTHER: "And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'Oh,
Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to
tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and people did feast upon
the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast
cereals, and fruit bats, and large -"
MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.
BROTHER: "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin.
Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number
thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt
thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to
three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be
reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe,
who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'"
MAYNARD: Amen.

GUARD: Oh, yes, it's very nice-a {Aside to the other French, "I told him
we already got one. (Assorted giggling)}
ARTHUR: Well, um, can we come up and have a look?
GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a!
ARTHUR: Well, what are you then?
GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king!
GALAHAD: What are you doing in England?
GUARD: Mind your own business!
ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms,
sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-calledArthur-king, you
and all your silly English kaniggets.
Thpbpbppbbt!
GALAHAD: What a strange person.
ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man!
GUARD: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food throw-upper! I fart in your general direction!

she must pay the penalty - and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one
punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down
on a bed and spank her!
GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!
DINGO: You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her, you may deal
with her as you like. And then, spank me.
MANY VOLUPTUOUS HALF-NUDE GIRLS: And spank me. And me. And me.
GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!
DINGO: And after the spanking, the oral sex.
GIRLS: Oral sex! Oral sex!
GALAHAD: Well, I could stay a BIT longer!

monty python are bad film's

Well you know what, f*ck you. If you don't like the Monty python films, don't wreck our fun by posting it in here.

no im on bout bad as in good it is the barry slang i think they are amazing i brought the box set for £44.99

Its slang from where we live. Bad means good. its weird

He meant bad as in good? What is the world coming to?

i thought the holy grail was kind of funny, but i can't say that I like monty python, or british humor for that matter (no offense)

It's hard to tell which way it's meant. (Bad sometimes means good in the US as well)

lol it is weird in it but it's barry 4 u if u no where it is

best bit for me is!

3 wise men:

We have come for the chosen one

Mary:

Bugger off!!

3 wise men:

We have brought gifts for him!

Mary:

Well. . . why didnt you say. . . . hes over there!

(from "life of brian")

:haha: Hobbit :haha: