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I Am Becoming My Dad..; Or Am I Paranoid?
Topic Started: Jul 10 2008, 01:41:17 PM (481 Views)
Liquidus_Snake
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shellshocked marine, hue, vietnam
Nobody has ever told me this as a compliment or a insult, its just as years go on I can keep seeing myself becoming him, and its fucking scary..

I mean, this isn't in the way everyone feels they are like there parents, this is getting to the point of consuming my old life and becoming him..

I mean, my mum and dad are divoiced and the one person I would hate to become is him, an alcoholic, drug addict, all round cunt. Just his features of his personality, the way he ignores people, how he can't seem to be the person he wants to, how he acts drunk, the way he feels he is superior to other people..

Yet, how hard I try to be the complete opposite to him, the easier it is becoming him, I mean this is affecting my social and work life. I recently split up with a girl I was seeing because she says I her bad, I see me taking my dads place in my group, hard to explain but almost like the dry humoured one who thinks his superior? of course this isn't what I want but its happening without me controlling it...

I just hate it, I always see my old man as a senseless person, when I see myself as indivdual as can be, I got 2nd most humourous in my year group and since then I just don't feel like I'm an indivdual and I'm not who I used to be

Its normally when I'm high I notice these things, and it ruins a good buzz.. I just see myself becoming awkard with girls, the more I try to be how I was when I was younger, the more I see myself as my dad and don't end up pulling like I used to because of my own paranoia.

Just seems I'm a different person now and one I don't want to be..

Anyone got any advice, I litacally feel stale all the time now, and I can't seem to enjoy myself because of this thing in my head constantly reminding myself of my dad..
"And the Germans killed the Jews
And the Jews killed the Arabs
And the Arabs killed the hostages
And that is the news
And is it any wonder
That the monkey's confused"

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Sybris
Light Infantry
Do you do drugs? smoke? drink excessive alcohol?

Do what you want to do .. don't compare yourself to other people, compare yourself as to what you do.. who YOU are, not somebody else.
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Comatoes
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People say it's inevitable but I think it's just coincidence. It's easy to find similarities between yourself and your father... just like it's easy to find similarities between yourself and anyone else in the world. The thing is in this situation is the fact that your time spent with your father in your life is more important than your time spent with anyone else. They're supposed to be role models. If you grow up hating them for something they do and you find yourself doing the same things, you feel ashamed...

...my advice to not feel bad about it. Don't change who you are just because some of your behavior is similar to someone you hate. This is happening to me, as well... however, I don't hate my Dad, I just think some of the decisions he made while I was around him were kind of ridiculous... particularly when it came to deal with finances. Now, I find myself doing the same things he's doing... (juggling 0% APR credit cards to deal with debt) ...and I feel closer to him now then I ever did because I know what he had to deal with when he was raising me and my siblings.

Basically... you'll grow up and realize that you really don't matter like you thought you did. That girlfriend that thinks you treat her bad is probably a dumb bitch and you're better off without her. You're an individual... yes... but you're just like the rest of the 6.5 billion + people in this world and the best you can hope for is that you find some kind of peace in your life.

So... if you find peace by doing drugs, drinking, and/or being an asshole to people, (as long as you don't hurt anyone), do it. Enjoy your life... don't worry if you're like your Dad or not. It doesn't matter...
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Helikaon
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I am the night!
Hah, I've noticed that I'm starting to replicate my father. For example the last time I saw him (a little over a year ago) we were just sitting watching trashy daytime television and I noticed that we were sitting in exact same position (legs crossed, arms crossed), then the same thing happened while we (me, him and my brothers) were playing football in the yard, we were both moving in almost the exact same way, it was like staring into a mirror. I was actually quite shocked at that, considering I hadn't seen him in nearly 3 years. Also we have the same eating and drinking habits as well. Of course it could just have been a coincidence, but I stopped believing in those ages ago.

The only thing I can say is what other people have (and no doubt will say again), you aren't your father.
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Liquidus_Snake
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shellshocked marine, hue, vietnam
Sybris
Jul 10 2008, 07:37:35 PM
Do you do drugs? smoke? drink excessive alcohol?
I smoke Marijuana, Cigarettes and tend to drink reguraly.. That doesn't seem to be the problem, I have noticed I have become paranoid the last couple of years by the smallest things, not to this extreme though..


Quote:
 
People say it's inevitable but I think it's just coincidence. It's easy to find similarities between yourself and your father... just like it's easy to find similarities between yourself and anyone else in the world. The thing is in this situation is the fact that your time spent with your father in your life is more important than your time spent with anyone else. They're supposed to be role models. If you grow up hating them for something they do and you find yourself doing the same things, you feel ashamed...

...my advice to not feel bad about it. Don't change who you are just because some of your behavior is similar to someone you hate. This is happening to me, as well... however, I don't hate my Dad, I just think some of the decisions he made while I was around him were kind of ridiculous... particularly when it came to deal with finances. Now, I find myself doing the same things he's doing... (juggling 0% APR credit cards to deal with debt) ...and I feel closer to him now then I ever did because I know what he had to deal with when he was raising me and my siblings.

Basically... you'll grow up and realize that you really don't matter like you thought you did. That girlfriend that thinks you treat her bad is probably a dumb bitch and you're better off without her. You're an individual... yes... but you're just like the rest of the 6.5 billion + people in this world and the best you can hope for is that you find some kind of peace in your life.

So... if you find peace by doing drugs, drinking, and/or being an asshole to people, (as long as you don't hurt anyone), do it. Enjoy your life... don't worry if you're like your Dad or not. It doesn't matter...


I do understand I'm not my dad, thats the most worrying thing though. I have never thought of myself as anything like him to the last couple of months and that gets me thinkinG.. Have I always been like him? I mean, I would hate to be seen in the same light as him. The more I try to be who I was a year back, the more I understand I have always acted liek that if you understand?

Its not so much I hate my dad or feel ashamed of him. He is my dad afterall and I do have a fairly close bond to him, I just never wanted to grow up like him, as in some ways he is a failure..

Its just I hate the fact I'm losing my status if anything, I can't put my thumb on it..
"And the Germans killed the Jews
And the Jews killed the Arabs
And the Arabs killed the hostages
And that is the news
And is it any wonder
That the monkey's confused"

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Sonic Flamingo
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Fire Startin Asshole

I like the fact I am becoming like my father. I take it as a compliment. But "Monkey See Monkey Do" its really easy to pick up habits from guardians.
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but hollow points expand on impact.
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