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| URGENT PROBLEM | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 30 2013, 10:47:59 PM (3,131 Views) | |
| Dirty Duck | Dec 30 2013, 10:47:59 PM Post #1 |
super𝖛𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖓
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Hey all, so on Boxing day the family I didn't see on Christmas day came round to exchange presents, it was a nice day, but once they had all left I realised my nephew had left behind one of his new HEXBUG Nano toys. I had a look at it and upon further inspection I found that the toy is actually electronic, you switch it on via the switch at the bottom of the toy and it vibrates, due to the shape of the toy this vibrating causes the toy to move forward, and that is how it works. Now seeing as he had gone I decided I'd just put the toy in my pocket whilst I cleaned up all the rubbish left, I forgot about it for the rest of the day and left it in there. Now I am ashamed to say this but later that day I was sitting in my room...masturbating. Now all was normal, nothing out of the ordinary, then I felt a vibrating in my pocket. I checked and saw it was the HEXBUG Nano, I took no notice and carried on, leaving the toy on besides me. Now as the intensity rose I became immersed in the moment, I realise the HEXBUG was still vibrating next to me and I grabbed it and shoved it up my ass, forgetting the whole functionality of the toy. Within a moment I realised what I had done and the HEXBUG went scurrying into the unknown, I tried to grab it but to no avail. I could feel the vibrations and although the situation was dire I decided to finish off anyway, figuring I could sort the problem out later. However upon a quick trip to the bathroom I found the HEXBUG was pretty far lodged, I couldnt reach it and as such it carried on vibrating inside me, almost as if mocking me. Now at this moment I was called downstairs for dinner by the family, I went and sat down trying to act normal, at several points during the meal members of my family mad remarks about how they could hear a vibrating sound, i feigned ignorance and tried my best to ignore blushing. Now I've tried to keep away from them but it's been 4 days and the toy is still vibrating, I've become desensitised to it as the insides of my anus have become numb, the batteries on these toys last a long time, were it to be any other situation I'd be mildly impressed, but due to the situation at hand I am more annoyed than happy. Due to the embarrassing nature of the problem I don't want to tell family and I certainly don't want to see a doctor, so please, how can I get this thing out of my ass? If anyone with any experience of similar occurrences could lend me a hand I would be eternally grateful, please, reply ASAP. Thanks in advance. |
 「 the beast ii 」 R.I.P G.J.V | R.I.P OS. | |
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| black king | Dec 30 2013, 11:16:33 PM Post #2 |
...Burger King?
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This sounds like one of those stories on the evening news... anyway, laxatives or food the cleans your bowels out? Those would be my only advice. Your poop chute was made for things to leave your body not enter. Failing that, doctor is the best method. |
 The Rules | My MTG Decks Awards
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| £ | Dec 30 2013, 11:23:56 PM Post #3 |
£
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You need a pair of chopsticks and a lot of patience. |
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| See Greene | Dec 30 2013, 11:25:31 PM Post #4 |
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I feel like this is a killer troll post. If not then here is my answer. Do not take laxatives. It will only soften your shit and possibly your shit will go around/toy will go through your shit. Eat some protein and get a nice large loaf built up. your shit should push it out. If not, you should go to the doctor asap. Dont tell anyone why, and a doctor isnt allowed to tell anyone anything. Its kind of dangerous having things lost up in your asshole bro. Forget embarrassing, think of your health. |
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| Annoying Prick | Dec 30 2013, 11:28:37 PM Post #5 |
Jail Guard
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once u get it out i recommend buying a decnt vibrator. The jessica rabbit mk 2 is good and very pleasurable. It has a g spot locator |
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| Vodou Marekaj Fantom | Dec 30 2013, 11:29:22 PM Post #6 |
...Die By The Gun
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Get a KA-BAR, and literally cut your fucking ass apart and pull it out. |
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| Lightning | Dec 30 2013, 11:31:41 PM Post #7 |
Stand By Me
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Go the emergency room and get a professional to take care of it. If not, then try to relax your muscles and use lubricant. Don't try to get out so fast because you don't want to cause any potential infections, or tissue tears down there.
Edited by Lightning, Dec 30 2013, 11:34:17 PM.
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[rotate] [rotate] [rotate] Rest in Peace Gary (G.J.V). You will be missed!  Mafia Awards
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| Annoying Prick | Dec 30 2013, 11:34:10 PM Post #8 |
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Jail Guard
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U cold try sending more hexbugs in 2 c if they move it |
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| sadistic_greyfox | Dec 31 2013, 12:44:55 AM Post #9 |
Midnight Leader
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Get over here, I got the Hurricane tongue |
 Missing you more with each day, Joe (OS.) Spoiler: click to toggle
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| freddiegibbs | Dec 31 2013, 01:03:16 AM Post #10 |
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Edited by freddiegibbs, May 10 2014, 03:23:46 AM.
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| Bread | Dec 31 2013, 01:16:13 AM Post #11 |
MGSV is a bit shit
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Yeah, you're definitely gonna die. |
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| OS. | Dec 31 2013, 01:36:20 AM Post #12 |
MGSF'S DESTINY....IS TO NEVER DESTINY
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Tommy tanking to CITV again? Sounds like a job for STRETCHHHHH ARMSTRONG... |
  To Gary, RIP friend. | |
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| Gene | Dec 31 2013, 02:27:50 AM Post #13 |
 
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I'll sort it for a tenner |
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| A Big Crocodile | Dec 31 2013, 02:31:56 AM Post #14 |
Filthy casuals
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I really had to laugh my ass off at the uncanny situation, but IF this is serious, I'd seek medical attention before any of the sharp edges causes internal injury, which could lead to serious complications. Also, if they take an x-ray, PLEASE post this online. |
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| Bames Jond | Dec 31 2013, 04:01:27 AM Post #15 |
now this is pod racing
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If that thing is still vibrating periodically in your ass tomorow night, you should fap again and climax right as it turns to 2014. A great way to start the new year! |
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| Tom Cruise | Dec 31 2013, 04:15:32 AM Post #16 |
Ultimate
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3/10 |
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DEAD CELL 4 LIFE 4 EVER R.I.P. GARY  | |
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