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He survived Copping Malls. He survived Copping the Winn Hotel of Las Vegas, Nevada.
Now, he must survive Copping his greatest obstacle yet...
...An Internet Mafia Game...
Baul Plart's greatest enemies are back with a vengeance...
They have formed a deadly alliance...
They have infiltrated the ranks of righteousness and virtue...
...Their mission?
...To destroy Paublarto and the forces of Good...
Can Paul Blort can stop the malevolent four?
Or is this the end of Paul Blart Mall Blart?
Find out in this week's episode of...
Paul Blark Mafia Waffle Four
The third installment of the wildly popular Kevin Smith franchise brought to you by not Happy Madison(?)
The contestants:
Agent Annoying Prick big_boss1988 black king Dirty Duck Doakes Infiltrator Jassassino Mr. Gibbs Novitch Supreme Leader Dante The Baneposter WhiteThinDuke
The Roles:
The Blartiest Of People
Paul Blart Mall Blart - Double Vote Power
The candle that burns twice as bright burns twice as fast...unless that candle is Paul Plart. He is a symbol of hope and virtue, who will stop at nothing to protect all that good. As a symbol for all that is true and righteous, Pal Blonk's voting power is doubled for as long as he stands true and Blarty.
Vegas Commando Blart - Vote Swapping Power
An imperfect clone of Patches O'Blartihan, Vegas Commando Blart polices the Las Vegas casinos of Nevada. He knows a thing or two about gambling, and is prone to taking chances. Vegas Commando Blart has the ability to covertly swap the highest number of votes with the lowest number of votes, should he believe that the person about to be lynched is in fact, innocent. However, should the person he swapped to get lynched instead be Town, he loses his ability to swap votes. If he successfully saves a Town in favor of lynching a Mafia, Vegas Commando Blart retains his ability to swap vote results the following round.
Seggie the Segway - Lynch Escape Power
Paul Blart's trusty steed and secret lover, Seggie is a force of good and righteous, and because he is a Segway, he can escape a lynch because he doesn't have a neck. But never let it be said that it can't be done.
Daughter - Identifies People at Night Powers
Paul Blart's one and only daughter, who he loves just slightly more than Seggie. As a thirteen year old played by a thirty eight year old, Daughter uses her computer a lot and is far more tech savvy than Paup Blop. Daughter is able to use her laptop and low-speed wifi to hack into personal accounts and identify other players.
Janitor Man - Ability Siphoning Powers
Janitor Man is a trusty mall janitor who cleans stuff. But he's not so trusty and occasionally, he steals stuff. Janitor Man possesses the ability to sneak into someone's room and steal their ability for one round. If he's unfortunate enough to sneak into Police Lady on Horse's room, he will be kicked to death, and if he happens upon Villain Man's room, he will be shot to death.
Cinnabon Boy Man - Nullifies Vote Powers
I don't think there was a Cinnabon in Paul Blart, but there might have been. And in case there was, Cinnabon Boy Man possesses the ability to nullify anyones' vote by throwing a Cinnabon at them and filling them with so much shame that whoever gets Cinnabon'd loses their vote that round.
Cop Lady on a Horse - Kills any who visit her at night Powers
Cop Lady on a Horse is a Cop Lady who rides a Horse in the Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 trailer. Her horse is easily spooked and anyone who attempts to visit her room at night will be kicked to death by her horse. Her horse calms down if anyone visits her, and takes a round before it starts to get spooked again.
Old Housekeeping Lady - Bullet Proof
^After that happened, she put on a bullet proof vest. Now, should anyone visit and attempt to kill her, she has a vest to keep her safe. If her vest is used, it takes a full round before her vest can be used again.
That Guy - Bomb
Y'know that guy who's always in Paul Blart's movies and shows, from King of Queens, that new stupid show that probably got cancelled, to a buncha those shitty Happy Madison movies that featured Paul Blart? The one who kind of looks like Paul Blart but isn't? Well, he's secretly TJ Miller twenty years from now. He traveled back in time and intends to plant a bomb on the New York subways so when TJ Miller prankcalls the FBI about a bomb threat, it will be real and TJ Miller will seem like slightly less of a piece of shit person...but then he realized his young, TJ Miller self was still accused sexually abusing his ex-girlfriends and sexually harassing his costars, so he just kind of gave up on the whole thing. Now That Guy has a bomb and can plant it on whoever he chooses, and detonate it whenever he chooses, if he chooses to detonate it. His bomb can be stolen, and if the person he selects is lynched before the bomb can go off, it will return to him.
The Forces of Evil & Darkness
Villain Man - Owns a Gun Power
Villain Man harbors an unhealthy hatred of the mall cop who foiled his plans for villainy in the last Blart Outing. Also, he's played by actor Neil McDonough who was the best part of Arrow's shit-tacular fourth season as the villainous Damien Darkh. And like any villain in a shitty comedy, he owns a gun which he uses to secretly assassinate the forces of good at night. But should he be on the verge of lynching, Villain Man can shoot someone in broad daylight, thus exposing himself but taking someone down with him.
Seth Rogen - Double Vote Power
Paul Blart's greatest rival, the wicked Seth Rogen, who dared to star in the slightly more critically acclaimed Mall Cop movie, Observe & Report. But whereas Paul Blart is a symbol of virtue and memes galore, Seth Rogen is a symbol of unoriginality and unrelenting hatred. Because of his lack of originality, Seth Rogen, like Paul Blart, possesses the ability to double his vote power if he so desires, thus making it harder to determine which fat mall cop is which. Also, if Daughter visits Seth Rogen at night, she will mistake him for Paul Blart. Wouldn't you?
Punk Teen - Nullifies Nighttime Abilities Power
Punk Teen is the first rival Blart Paulson ever knew, and they won't be the last. Punk teens insist on graffiti art-ing all around the parking lot. And now, in league with Villain Man, Punk Teen can visit people at night and spray paint them in the face, nullifying their abilities for the night for one round.
Bird - Lynch Escape Powers
Paul Blart's most terrifying threat; an exotic bird prone to inflicting groin related injuries to any who ruffle his feathers. Bird is also a bird, and because of this, Bird possesses the ability to fly away and escape a lynch once. It will fall on the Townies to determine if Bird is a bird or a segway should he be lynched.
Let the Blarting Commence!
Because it was so late, I'll keep this open the full day until Saturday night, so you guys have tonight and all of the Day tomorrow to vote because we're all on different time zones and I'm a bitter old untimely curmudgeon.
Its exciting to finally have another mafia game again.
Mr. Gibbs
I hope we all die.
Max Payne
You stop right fucking there and apologies Infiltrator . CIA is many things; a has been meme master, a baneposter who ran it to the ground so bad to where it stopped being funny, a complete and utter podcast tsundere but I will NOT allow you to call him a shitty Gary Stu who killed a 7 part book series. That's just mean and unfair.
Sorry if I sound angry but this was too much, even with the strike in mind.
Chill the fuck out my dudes didn’t know the game was open
Spoiler: click to toggle
bowie ):
DE
Quotes
Rooster
Some say he doesn't understand the concept of stairs, others say he thinks Google is the French word for potato. All we know is he's our tamed speed poster, he's called Aragorn.
Octavious Wrex
but my mom was a psychopath. She is a really cool person
Strangelove
See, I don't mean to stereotype, but when it comes to opinions, you my friend, are god-like.
TSF's still cool
Awards
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